Over the weekend I had the opportunity to have a great time sharing ideas, thoughts, and ummmm a couple of drinks with Jill from The
Unnecessarean. I assume most, if not all of you know her. If not, I suggest you get over to her blog and take a read…
Anyway…..Let me back track and then bring you up to date… A few weeks ago, I had a REALLY bad experience at work. I cried, NO… actually I sobbed uncontrollably the entire 30 minute drive home. I felt at the time I really had
no-one to share my FULL feelings with. I did share the experience with my mother and my co-workers of course were there and while they did what they could to be “supportive,” they just don’t always “get it.” They don’t “FEEL it” the way I do if you know what I mean. The truth is, outside of us birth junkies, not many do. This is not the first time this has happened, but for some reason it was one of the hardest times in a very long while. (perhaps I will tell the story another day).
This experience in an instant, reminded me why I really don’t like working in the hospital. It also reminded me that it is important for individuals in this birth advocacy work to stay connected to others in birth advocacy work. It reminded me that we must continuously remain in contact with and surround ourselves with people who are supportive of our experiences, and can understand our hurts and setbacks. Success and business coaches always say things about your
circle of influence. They remind you that if you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you need to have successful entrepreneurs in your circle of influence. You needto have mentors who have been successful, and you need to have a “team” that is supportive of what you are doing; individuals who will ultimately be your cheerleaders, your pep squad, and advocates.
So what does all this have to do with Jill you may be asking. Well Thursday I read an email and knew that she would be in town for a minute and wanted to connect on Friday night. I had the opportunity to go to work at the hospital and while I don’t like the job, it is a temporary fixture that pays my bills so I tolerate it and thank the Universe for it! I could have certainly used the money.
What I realized I needed more in that moment, was an infusion of positive birth energy. I need a hug, a smile, to remind me that what I feel, where I stand on birth, and what I believe are not crazy thoughts. I needed to be reminded that I don’t overreact to things at work and that YES! the birth system in this country is VERY warped. I needed one of my “cheerleaders” to remind me that the work I am doing and trying to do is not in vain. I needed to be reminded that sometimes it is slow moving, sometimes, it’s hard, and sometimes you feel alone and then a simple email, a hug, conversation, shared ideas, a few drinks and lots of laughs can remind you that we are all in this together. I am DEFINITELY one of Jill’s cheerleaders. I think she is one of THE best Birth bloggers out there. After we met in October in at the ICTC conference in Long Beach I think it’s safe for me to say she became one of mine It was so great to hang out with her Friday. She gave me a much needed boost of birth energy to keep moving forward. Our time together reminded me that I need to remain more connected to the birth advocacy community and I need to speak more often to my mentors, women who have been doing this work LONG before I even thought about it. I need to also stay more connected to my cheerleaders.
Who are your cheerleaders? We all need them. We need individuals who love us, who appreciate us, who support us. We need people who can give constructive criticism and advice. And we need individuals to provide the shoulders that we cry on and lean on. Making room for naysayers, for haters, for negative people and small minds does not advance our cause. Instead that holds us back and creates self doubt.
I have come to find this is true in life, in business and as I always like to point out… as it is in life, so it is in birth…. Who is on your birth cheerleading squad? Do they support your birth ideas or are they naysayers? Be careful of who you allow in your birth space – More on this later….
Now… Lets all Go Forth and Birth Something Beautiful!!
Don’t forget to follow me on twitter @SistaMidwife