Tag Archives: midwife

Memories & Motivations from Trinidad

Posted on May 15, 2013 | Leave a comment

I am always excited after attending an event with the International Center for Traditional Childbearing (ICTC).  Last week I returned home after a 7 night stay in Maraval Trinidad.  While there, I was working, bonding, eating, sleeping, sharing, growing and learning with a group of phenomenal women.   The women who attended are doulas, nurses, midwives, and mothers… sisters, daughters, American and Trinidadian.

Healing Hands

Healing Hands

As I sat to write this blog post, I thought back to February.  I wrote an article titled “Black Motherhood” that was published in the online publication Oya Nsoro. Below are some excerpts from that article.

Often times, when we use the word midwife in the black community it conjures up images of elderly women walking from house to house, dressed in all white catching babies by moonlight and kerosene oil.  For many, the idea of midwifery also brings up images of dirty old women who are uneducated, undertrained and unskilled.  These negative beliefs about midwives were shaped in our communities systematically as the government, the American Medical Association, and the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology worked together to rid America of its “midwife problem.”  A war was waged on black so-called granny midwives and they were slowly eliminated from our communities.  This systematic elimination that started with the Sheppard Towner act in 1921 continues today.  The Sheppard Towner Act, created “training programs” for midwives and forced many of them to abandon the historical knowledge and practices that had been passed down for generations.  Integration and the introduction of Medicaid brought poor, rural, and black women out of the homes and into hospitals to birth.  Maternity care become a VERY profitable business… there was then, and continues to be, money to be made regardless of the birth outcomes. 

While midwifery in the black community traditionally was an honored profession, today many hold to the false beliefs that midwifery care is second rate, something for the poor and the underprivileged. Or in some minds, midwifery is for “them” i.e. the rich, the granola crunchy types, the natural hair wearers and the vegans. 

Fortunately, in spite of these false beliefs, the practice of midwifery carries on today and is gaining momentum.   To those of us practicing “modern day midwifery” there is honor and respect in this profession.  We understand the shoulders upon which we stand and we carry on the legacy of the so-called “granny midwife” with passion and reverence. 

Midwives are, and have always been spiritual people.  Most midwives will tell you they were “called” into this business and no other profession is more directly linked with both life and death. They took care of the community. They had to because no one else would. They succeeded because they had no choice.  Today, we “modern day midwives” work with this passion and pray we can do the same.

I came into midwifery knowing that women in my community were NOT being treated the way they should be during labor and birth.  I was moved to become a midwife so that I could be a part the solution.  At that time, I had no knowledge of granny midwives and during my midwifery education; I don’t remember learning much about the legacy of black midwives.  In 2001 I was introduced to Rhonda Haynes the award winning producer of Bringin in Da Spirit, a wonderful documentary that not only celebrates but tells the truth about the legacy of Black midwives.  It was through meeting her that I began my slow and continual journey to learn more.  Through Rhonda, I learned of ICTC and met Shafia Monore, the midwife and visionary behind ICTC, The International Black Midwives and Healers Conference, and The Full Circle Doula Training.  It has been my involvement with ICTC, especially over the past 3 years, that has accelerated my learning curve and given me a bigger passion not just for helping birthing women but also to learn about the legacy of black midwives and healers.

It was with much excitement that I registered to attend the recently held combo doula training in Trinidad with ICTC.  While there, I started down the path to become a Certified Full Circle Doula Trainer.  Have you taken the ICTC FCD training? If not, no matter what your previous birth work training is, I definitely recommend it.  You can take it this July in Chicago :-) This training, is like no other training.  It is an international training that celebrates the legacy of the black midwife and brings to light our full and rich history.  It educates, informs, and inspires.  It allows us to learn, to grow and to bond.  New friendships are forged and new passions are ignited. This is the ICTC way.  Today, as I work to improve birth outcomes in my community, I salute all of the midwives and doulas working to create better births for women. Extra Hugs… Love… and Light to those of you working in the trenches, taking care of black and brown families regardless of ability to pay.  You do not walk alone.  We are the ones we have been waiting for.

Mamatoto Birth Center

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Posted in Black Birth, Pregnancy & Birth

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Mothers are STRONG & Everyday is Mother’s Day

Posted on May 13, 2012 | Leave a comment

Today is the day… determined by some legal decision of another date and time… that we celebrate Mother’s Day. I don’t know the origins of this day and honestly it doesn’t matter to me at this point. But if you want details about the history and origins of Mother’s Day… check out www.mothersdaycentral.com ;-)

In general, I feel about Mothers Day the same way I feel about other holidays… Often started with good intentions today they are so commercialized the real meaning is lost in the material bullshit.  Now I’m not saying I’m all bah humbug but I will admit my favorite holiday character is the Grinch LOL but I digress….

The bottom line is I believe people, love, faith, relationships and yes MOTHERS should be celebrated everyday not just once a year.  There was a time when I refused to celebrate mother’s day under the premise that I love my mother 365 days a year and a Hallmark card wasnt needed to make it so.  I think that time period kinda hurt my mothers feelings :-/

Today I gave my mother a card.  It was a basic card with an appropriate message and then of course I included my own little personal note.  I gave her this card and previous cards, not because I started believing mothers day really mattered but rather to remind myself how much SHE really mattered to me.

As I continue to watch my mother deal with the side affects of multiple myeloma, and its varying treatments, I am constantly reminded how precious each day is. I am amazed at my mother’s strength and at her continued commitment to excellence in life. My mother is a STRONG woman.  IMO… ALL mothers are strong. Even the ones society may deem weak or the ones considered “bad.” Becoming a mother is a miracle and Mothering is no easy task. Yes… ALL mothers are strong.

In my line of work, you really have a chance to get up close and personal with the strength of women. The strength of mothers.  In this work, you really understand the reality that everyday is indeed a great day to Birth Something Beautiful™. And as a result everyday is Mothers Day.

Today I salute my mother and the strong mothers everywhere.  Without you my passion would be nonexistent. Thank you for all that you are and all that you do. I pray that when I am blessed to become a mother I will be at least half as strong.

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Posted in Lessons from BIRTH, Random Rants

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We’ve Been Called to the Mountain…

Posted on January 16, 2012 | 2 Comments

It has been MONTHS (October 2011)  since I helped organize the ICTC South East Black Midwives and Healers Summit. During the summit, I was unable to blog as I had intended. As a key organizer and M.C., quite frankly, I could not find the time or energy. After the summit, I had every intention of doing a series of blog posts and for a variety of reason it never happened.

After such a long delay, I thought I might never do a post about the summit at all.  As things would have it however, there was, and continues to be, a message from the Summit I feel compelled to share.

From day one of the summit, I knew we were in for a powerful weekend. During our opening ceremonies, Imam Mikal Shabazz brought us a message, one that, in my opinion, became the most important message of the entire summit.

He began… “This is a Summit, and not a conference… According to the dictionary, what is a summit? A summit is a place where the highest levels of leaders and officials gather… And when we think about a summit in the natural environment, a summit is the highest peak… and when you reach the summit you have accomplished something but what you have accomplished is not reaching the summit in and of itself but reaching the summit and then taking a look out into the horizon and seeing what you can see from the summit that will benefit others”

He reminded us that both Moses and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, were called to the summit… to the mountain top… and let us know that WE too had been called.  We sat at attention as he assured us, if there was any doubt that we had been called… “You are here, so that means you were called.”  And with that he asked… “Why are we here?? That’s something we have to reflect on. Many have been called, few have been chosen and YOU are here, and there is a reason why you are here.”  That set a powerful tone.  Yes we had been called and we knew we had a serious task ahead.

This message, this idea of being “called,” is not new to birth workers and it was reiterated the following day by Sula “The Doula.” She added another dimension as she shared a lesson she received.  Her teacher reminded her that as she accepted her calling, she must recognize her calling came with a window of opportunity. What are you going to do while that window is open he asked her? And she asked us the same question.

I was overwhelmed with emotion the entire weekend. Through the words of Imam Shabazz, Sula “The Doula”  and others, it was confirmed that I was walking on my path and my life is being divinely guided. On my 1.5 hour drive home I cried tears upon tears of joy and gave thanks for the revelations I received. I realized that have been called and my window of opportunity is NOW.

Recently, I had been challenging myself and trying to understand my role as a midwife. I have been looking, reading, listening, searching for a sign, direction, the perfect push to move me in the direction I was to go. There have been times when I felt like I was less of a midwife because I was not “catching babies.” This summit, with its many words of encouragement, and the revelations I received assured me that I was on my path. The summit gave me confirmation.

On the last day of 2011, I was literally on a mountain. I did not reach the summit of Haleakala but as I enjoyed the incredible views from the mountain, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace, and I was reminded of the messages from October. I have been called, and I am humbled by the reality of what that means. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve women, to assist with the ushering in of new life. I know that as I continue on my path as a “virtual midwife” and pregnancy coach, as I continue in my role as the South East Regional Rep for ICTC, whether I work as a home birth midwife or hospital based midwife, all of these things allow me to serve… to be… to do what I have been called to do.

ALL of us, who do this work have been called. Are you a birth worker? If so, you too have been called to the mountain top. Have you accepted your calling?  We know it to be a calling. We know it to be a work of passion and humility. We know it to be a labor of love and I am honored that I have been called. I accept my calling and look forward to helping you Birth Something Beautiful in 2012 and beyond.

In Birth and Love
Nicole

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Posted in Being Grateful..., Lessons from BIRTH

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This Mother’s Day… I want to Say THANK YOU!!!

Posted on May 7, 2011 | 2 Comments

All week I contemplated what I would say as we came to another mother’s day.

Me and My Mother Jan 2010

Initially I was going to write a poem… a sort of “Ode to Mothers” if you will.  I had planned to say all of the wonderful things I could think to say about mothers. I was going to mention how strong they are, how loving they are, how connected and special they are and how they are the key to my calling: for without mothers there would be no midwives.  In the midst of my thoughts I took a flight for work and met a woman on her way to visit her newest grand baby.

Me and MA'Me! My Maternal Grandmother

I initially was not really interested in having a conversation with a stranger on a plane.  I was a bit sleepy; I had pulled a muscle in my back;  and in spite of the stretching, and the naproxen sodium, my back was killing me.  While I was not really up for conversation, I felt I had little choice when the perky lady sitting next to me stuck her hand out and said “Hi I’m Mary.”

I shook her hand reluctantly and we began the normal chit chat of strangers  on a plane.  She eventually said… “What do you do for a living if you don’t mind me asking?”   Over the years I have answered this question MANY different ways depending on the circumstances, who I was speaking with, and why they were asking.  This day I decided to simply say… “I’m a midwife.”  I said it flatly with no enthusiasm or any energy in my voice.  She continues to be oblivious to my lack of interested energy and exclaims “OMG!! That is wonderful. I am actually on my way to see my grand baby in San Antonio!!”

From that point on she couldn’t stop telling me about her family…  Her five children; Her five grandchildren; Her mother also had 5 children.  “There  is something about fives in my family”  I smile and nod and agree.

She tells me over and over how “Wonderful it must be to have a career where I get hugs after my work is done!” She says she can’t imagine working in such a profession where people are so grateful for the work I do.  She tells me she can’t imagine how rewarding that must be; participating in the miracle of birth.  “I mean having a baby is such an important time in a woman’s life.”  Yes it is important I say in agreement.  She keeps talking and I continue to smile and nod.

MA'Me... My Maternal Grandmother

She shares some of the details of her 5 births:  “My first 3 were ‘all natural.’  My daughter had an epidural.  And well you know they didn’t have all those inducing agents back then.”

She tells me the first three were really easy but she got an epidural with the last one.  “Well cause after Michael… you see he was 10 pounds and the hardest.  I was laboring and nothing was happening so my doctor gave me something to induce me.  And well his head came out easy but his shoulders wouldn’t come and the doctor had to work real hard to get him out. And he cut this huge episiotomy…  22 stitches I had to have…  but Michael did fine”

Yep,  she declared again… “Michael was the hardest but he turned out fine and well I thought I was done having babies but I kept having this dream.”  Three times she had this dream about having another baby.  She spoke with her husband about her dream and soon found herself happily pregnant with baby number 5 at 40 years of age.  “I got an epidural with that one. After Michael, I just couldn’t do it again”

Granny... My Paternal Grandmother

I love listening to women recall their birth stories so I smiled and nodded as she told me again how wonderful my job must be and how blessed I am to have such a wonderful profession.  As we were leaving the plane I told her to be sure to enjoy her newest grand baby.  She gave me her blessings to continue the wonderful work that I do helping mammas and babies.

And so to get back to this Mother’s Day… I just want to take a moment to say THANK YOU!!!  Thank you to God, to The Universe, to The Most High for giving me divine guidance so that I would answer my calling. Thank you for guiding me now as I receive continual signs that my time is near where I will once again be “with woman” helping them to birth their babies and become mothers.

Thank you to all the mothers who have allowed me to be a part of their personal miracles: both those who I have already met and those whose paths I will cross in my future.

Thank you to my mother, and  my grandmother, and her mother, and her mother, and all the mothers before her whose genetics I carry. The genetics that remind me I come from a strong line of powerful women.

Ma Pierre - My Maternal Great Grandmother

And finally I say THANK YOU to Mary from Kentucky:  a very proud mother and grandmother who reminded me just how wonderful it is to be a Midwife.  Who reminded me that it is indeed a miracle to be a part of birth,  and who reminded me that it is unique and special to be among the few who are blessed with the work of creating and supporting mothers .

My mother 3 months S/P Chemo! Looking STRONG!

Blessings and Happy mother’s day to all of you!!! May your days be filled with things that continue to  inspire you to Birth Something Beautiful!!

In Birth and Love
Nicole

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Creating a winning birth team…

Posted on December 20, 2010 | 11 Comments

So you are going to have a baby!! The time is approaching and you are beginning to think about WHO is going to be present for the big event.  Will your mother be there?  Your best friend?  Your partner/husband? Did you hire a doula?  What will your nurse be like?  What midwife/doctor will be on call?

While to some these may seem like simple questions for others they cause extreme stress and anxiety.  The wrong people can create uneasy conflict in your birth room while the right team can create harmony and peace.   There are two primary categories of people who make up your birth team; your health care providers, and your family and friends.   The ultimate goal is a winning team where Together Everyone Achieves More, and where they work together to create a conflict free birth room filled with peace, happiness and love.

Let’s quickly talk about the people on your team:

Your midwife/doctor: IF it is very important for you to KNOW the provider who will catch your baby, you want to be sure you pick someone in solo practice or choose a group with only a few providers.  Make sure you are able to meet everyone of them more than once during the prenatal period.  Keep in mind, everyone needs a day off sometimes, so even with a solo practitioner there is the off chance that your provider may be unavailable.  However, if this is VERY important to you, you can minimize the chances of having a “stranger” in your delivery room if you choose the right provider prenatally.

If it is important to have your provider present throughout your labor, providing support and encouragement, be sure to talk to them EARLY in your pregnancy about your wishes to determine if she/he is the right provider for you. Generally speaking, if you really want your provider to give you labor support you should choose a midwife.  While not every midwife provides labor support, in general a midwife is more likely to be with you in labor compared to a physician.  The bottom line about your birth attendant is knowing that you cannot wait until labor starts to choose the right provider for your labor and delivery team.  This is a process that MUST begin the moment you find out you are pregnant.  Your provider is an integral part of your birth team and you want to be sure you are happy about your choice.

Your nurse: If you will be birthing your baby in a hospital, your nurse will be a critical part of your birth team. She will likely spend more time with you than anyone else.  Not every nurse is the perfect fit for every patient but with a little patience and open communication, you can make the relationship work.  Know what you want, and be prepared to discuss it with the nurse upon admission.  Having a written birth plan is not a bad idea but it is not required.  The most important thing is to know what you want and to have a CONVERSATION.  With open communication, your nurse can become your biggest advocate and friend. There are times when regardless of communication, you and your nurse are not a good fit. When this happens, you can ask for the charge nurse on duty and request another nurse. While this is not always possible due to various staffing and time constraints, it is worth trying if all else fails and there is a definite conflict.

Your doula: Doulas are not just for women who want to “go natural.” While this is where they are primarily used, they can be a valuable asset in any birth room.  Like your prenatal provider/birth attendant, it is important that you meet your doula BEFORE labor starts. It’s important to choose someone who you feel comfortable with.  You want a doula that is going to respect what YOU want, without trying to push her values and beliefs about birth onto you.  You want a doula that has the skill to speak up for you without alienating the staff at the hospital.  Nurse/doula relationships can create some of the biggest conflicts. Be sure to communicate with both the nurse and the doula to make sure they are a part of YOUR team, not in a competition.

Your family and friends: Some women feel obligated to let anyone into their birth room who says they want to be there.  I have seen women become visibly stressed out about trying to decide who should be there and feeling some obligation to allow this one or that one in the birth room although she really doesn’t want that person present.  Some of the relationships that I have seen create the biggest conflicts for women include in-laws and friends especially friends where she was present for their labor and birth.  Birth is a special time for the mother her partner and their infant.  Just because you were invited to her birth room does not mean she has to be invited to yours. Those wedding/party “rules of etiquette” don’t have any place in labor and delivery.  This is a very different experience and should be treated as such.  It is a private event and should include only the people you REALLY want to be present. Remember that during labor and birth, much of you may literally be exposed and if you are a having a natural/unmediated birth you will be in a vulnerable state.  EVERYBODY does NOT need to be there.  Labor and birth is not a spectator sport yet when you have LOTS of visitors during the process just “waiting for the baby,” this is what your precious birth experience has the potential to turn into. When you are trying to work with your contractions or rest after an epidural, the last thing you need is your family/friends standing around “speculating, and watching.”

To avoid in labor decisions/conflicts be sure to have these discussions with your partner, mother, in-laws, friends and doula BEFORE labor ensues.   An easy way to avoid some of the conflict is to keep your “I’m in labor” phone calls to a minimum. After you have the baby and you have had time to rest, THEN you can make all the calls you want. If they don’t know you are in labor there will be no stress about uninviting them from the birth room.

If you do end up having lots of people coming to visit, I encourage my patients to send non-essential visitors HOME.  Let your nurse or your doula be the “bad guy” to send them on their way.  It’s like you are the quarter back and we are the offensive line. We protect you. Ask us and your wish is our command.

After delivery, you will want to rest and spend some private time bonding with your newborn.  Encourage your friends to come over to your house AFTER you are home. You will feel more like normal and be more open to visiting. As a side note, I also make the suggestion that you ask friends to come bearing edible gifts!! Who has time to cook with a newborn baby!  While they love us the most, family and friends are often the ones who create the most conflict.  Be careful about who you choose to invite/allow into your birth space.

When it’s all said and done, you are the captain and your partner is the co-captain of your birth team. Together you have to decide what other team members will help you win.  Be sure to Choose Wisely because your birth team can have a profound effect on your birth experience.

In Birth and Love
Nicole ~ Follow me on twitter @SistaMidwife

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Posted in Pregnancy & Birth

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