Tag Archives: doula

Memories & Motivations from Trinidad

Posted on May 15, 2013 | Leave a comment

I am always excited after attending an event with the International Center for Traditional Childbearing (ICTC).  Last week I returned home after a 7 night stay in Maraval Trinidad.  While there, I was working, bonding, eating, sleeping, sharing, growing and learning with a group of phenomenal women.   The women who attended are doulas, nurses, midwives, and mothers… sisters, daughters, American and Trinidadian.

Healing Hands

Healing Hands

As I sat to write this blog post, I thought back to February.  I wrote an article titled “Black Motherhood” that was published in the online publication Oya Nsoro. Below are some excerpts from that article.

Often times, when we use the word midwife in the black community it conjures up images of elderly women walking from house to house, dressed in all white catching babies by moonlight and kerosene oil.  For many, the idea of midwifery also brings up images of dirty old women who are uneducated, undertrained and unskilled.  These negative beliefs about midwives were shaped in our communities systematically as the government, the American Medical Association, and the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology worked together to rid America of its “midwife problem.”  A war was waged on black so-called granny midwives and they were slowly eliminated from our communities.  This systematic elimination that started with the Sheppard Towner act in 1921 continues today.  The Sheppard Towner Act, created “training programs” for midwives and forced many of them to abandon the historical knowledge and practices that had been passed down for generations.  Integration and the introduction of Medicaid brought poor, rural, and black women out of the homes and into hospitals to birth.  Maternity care become a VERY profitable business… there was then, and continues to be, money to be made regardless of the birth outcomes. 

While midwifery in the black community traditionally was an honored profession, today many hold to the false beliefs that midwifery care is second rate, something for the poor and the underprivileged. Or in some minds, midwifery is for “them” i.e. the rich, the granola crunchy types, the natural hair wearers and the vegans. 

Fortunately, in spite of these false beliefs, the practice of midwifery carries on today and is gaining momentum.   To those of us practicing “modern day midwifery” there is honor and respect in this profession.  We understand the shoulders upon which we stand and we carry on the legacy of the so-called “granny midwife” with passion and reverence. 

Midwives are, and have always been spiritual people.  Most midwives will tell you they were “called” into this business and no other profession is more directly linked with both life and death. They took care of the community. They had to because no one else would. They succeeded because they had no choice.  Today, we “modern day midwives” work with this passion and pray we can do the same.

I came into midwifery knowing that women in my community were NOT being treated the way they should be during labor and birth.  I was moved to become a midwife so that I could be a part the solution.  At that time, I had no knowledge of granny midwives and during my midwifery education; I don’t remember learning much about the legacy of black midwives.  In 2001 I was introduced to Rhonda Haynes the award winning producer of Bringin in Da Spirit, a wonderful documentary that not only celebrates but tells the truth about the legacy of Black midwives.  It was through meeting her that I began my slow and continual journey to learn more.  Through Rhonda, I learned of ICTC and met Shafia Monore, the midwife and visionary behind ICTC, The International Black Midwives and Healers Conference, and The Full Circle Doula Training.  It has been my involvement with ICTC, especially over the past 3 years, that has accelerated my learning curve and given me a bigger passion not just for helping birthing women but also to learn about the legacy of black midwives and healers.

It was with much excitement that I registered to attend the recently held combo doula training in Trinidad with ICTC.  While there, I started down the path to become a Certified Full Circle Doula Trainer.  Have you taken the ICTC FCD training? If not, no matter what your previous birth work training is, I definitely recommend it.  You can take it this July in Chicago :-) This training, is like no other training.  It is an international training that celebrates the legacy of the black midwife and brings to light our full and rich history.  It educates, informs, and inspires.  It allows us to learn, to grow and to bond.  New friendships are forged and new passions are ignited. This is the ICTC way.  Today, as I work to improve birth outcomes in my community, I salute all of the midwives and doulas working to create better births for women. Extra Hugs… Love… and Light to those of you working in the trenches, taking care of black and brown families regardless of ability to pay.  You do not walk alone.  We are the ones we have been waiting for.

Mamatoto Birth Center

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Posted in Black Birth, Pregnancy & Birth

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The Birth Plan Myth

Posted on April 15, 2013 | Leave a comment

Are you pregnant or trying to conceive?
Are you a doula or childbirth educator?
Hare you heard of the infamous birth plan?
Are you planning to prepare a birth plan?
Do you advise your clients to prepare birth plans?
Have you googled “Birth Plan” recently?
I did… Wanna know what I found???
147,000,000 results!!

Unfortunately… most of them by and large give women the false belief that writing a Birth Plan will have a significant impact on their birth experience.  The reality is, in hospitals where birth plans are respected, they are hardly needed and in hospitals where they don’t respect them…… weeelllll  it may have LITTLE impact on what happens!

Join me THURSDAY on my next FREE tele-class as I share The Birth Plan Myth.  Learn more and register for this free call HERE

After this call you will …

  • Understand how to avoid the most common mistakes women make when creating a birth plan and have insights that will help you create the birth experience you want with or without a Birth Plan
  • Know the phrases that immediately diminish the power of a Birth Plan and the language you need to feel more confident when discussing your birth with your provider.

I hope you can make it!!
Thursday, April 18th ~ 8PM CST / 9PM EST
Join us live and participate in our Q & A portion.
Can’t make the call?
Register so you can get access to the recording.

 Don’t take a birth plan to the hospital until you listen to this call!

Register HERE

I look forward to working with you to Birth Something Beautiful!

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Posted in Lessons from BIRTH, Pregnancy & Birth

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We’ve Been Called to the Mountain…

Posted on January 16, 2012 | 2 Comments

It has been MONTHS (October 2011)  since I helped organize the ICTC South East Black Midwives and Healers Summit. During the summit, I was unable to blog as I had intended. As a key organizer and M.C., quite frankly, I could not find the time or energy. After the summit, I had every intention of doing a series of blog posts and for a variety of reason it never happened.

After such a long delay, I thought I might never do a post about the summit at all.  As things would have it however, there was, and continues to be, a message from the Summit I feel compelled to share.

From day one of the summit, I knew we were in for a powerful weekend. During our opening ceremonies, Imam Mikal Shabazz brought us a message, one that, in my opinion, became the most important message of the entire summit.

He began… “This is a Summit, and not a conference… According to the dictionary, what is a summit? A summit is a place where the highest levels of leaders and officials gather… And when we think about a summit in the natural environment, a summit is the highest peak… and when you reach the summit you have accomplished something but what you have accomplished is not reaching the summit in and of itself but reaching the summit and then taking a look out into the horizon and seeing what you can see from the summit that will benefit others”

He reminded us that both Moses and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, were called to the summit… to the mountain top… and let us know that WE too had been called.  We sat at attention as he assured us, if there was any doubt that we had been called… “You are here, so that means you were called.”  And with that he asked… “Why are we here?? That’s something we have to reflect on. Many have been called, few have been chosen and YOU are here, and there is a reason why you are here.”  That set a powerful tone.  Yes we had been called and we knew we had a serious task ahead.

This message, this idea of being “called,” is not new to birth workers and it was reiterated the following day by Sula “The Doula.” She added another dimension as she shared a lesson she received.  Her teacher reminded her that as she accepted her calling, she must recognize her calling came with a window of opportunity. What are you going to do while that window is open he asked her? And she asked us the same question.

I was overwhelmed with emotion the entire weekend. Through the words of Imam Shabazz, Sula “The Doula”  and others, it was confirmed that I was walking on my path and my life is being divinely guided. On my 1.5 hour drive home I cried tears upon tears of joy and gave thanks for the revelations I received. I realized that have been called and my window of opportunity is NOW.

Recently, I had been challenging myself and trying to understand my role as a midwife. I have been looking, reading, listening, searching for a sign, direction, the perfect push to move me in the direction I was to go. There have been times when I felt like I was less of a midwife because I was not “catching babies.” This summit, with its many words of encouragement, and the revelations I received assured me that I was on my path. The summit gave me confirmation.

On the last day of 2011, I was literally on a mountain. I did not reach the summit of Haleakala but as I enjoyed the incredible views from the mountain, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace, and I was reminded of the messages from October. I have been called, and I am humbled by the reality of what that means. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve women, to assist with the ushering in of new life. I know that as I continue on my path as a “virtual midwife” and pregnancy coach, as I continue in my role as the South East Regional Rep for ICTC, whether I work as a home birth midwife or hospital based midwife, all of these things allow me to serve… to be… to do what I have been called to do.

ALL of us, who do this work have been called. Are you a birth worker? If so, you too have been called to the mountain top. Have you accepted your calling?  We know it to be a calling. We know it to be a work of passion and humility. We know it to be a labor of love and I am honored that I have been called. I accept my calling and look forward to helping you Birth Something Beautiful in 2012 and beyond.

In Birth and Love
Nicole

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Posted in Being Grateful..., Lessons from BIRTH

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A GREAT Doula

Posted on December 27, 2010 | 21 Comments

In hospital settings, women who choose unmedicated births are often misunderstood, under supported, and greeted with disbelief, and “hidden” sarcasm.  Hospital nurses are often ill equipped to provide the support needed to help a woman having a normal, unmedicated, non-interventionist birth.  They often don’t understand birth, have a fear of birth and have been indoctrinated into the medical model of care.

Hospitals hinder normal labor and birth with many of its routines like IV fluids, electronic fetal monitoring, and restrictions on movement, eating and drinking.  Aggressive protocols that include Pitocin and artificially breaking a woman’s water bag abound creating a VERY difficult environment for a natural, normal birth.  In spite of all of this, an unmedicated birth in a hospital setting IS possible.  Yes it can be a mountain to climb but you CAN do it with the right preparation and the right support.

As you prepare for your labor and birth experience, there are a number of things you can do to make your chances of an unmedicated birth in a hospital more likely.  Among them are choosing the right birth team.  It is IMPERATIVE, if you are planning an unmedicated birth in the hospital that you bring along with you a friend, family member, or doula. More than anyone else, for a woman who desires an unmedicated birth in a hospital, I believe the presence of a labor doula can have the most profound impact on her birthing experience.   (NOTE:  All women should have loved ones with them during labor and any one can benefit from having a doula on her birth team.  I am just focusing on hospital birth here.)

Although DONA International, the largest association of Doula’s worldwide, has a membership of 6,000 individuals here in the United States alone, many women still have never heard of doulas.  Even when a woman does know what a doula is, somehow the benefits of hiring a doula are not realized.  I am frequently surprised when I ask a pregnant woman, especially first time mothers, if they have hired a doula and they answer:   “No, I don’t think I will need one, my mother, (sister, girlfriend, husband) … will be there.”  Or “No I really didn’t want any strangers in my birth room.”

That one always makes me chuckle…  Believe ME!!!….. There will be PLENTY of strangers in and out of your room during your hospital birth experience:  various nurses, secretaries, lab technicians, OB technicians, students of various specialties, and more.  The one person who can remain constant during this time would be your doula!

While it is GREAT to have your mother,(sister, girlfriend) present for your labor and birth; and while it is fantastic if you have a partner/husband who is interested in playing an active role in your labor and delivery experience,  I cannot begin to express how important and irreplaceable a doula is, ESPECIALLY if you are planning an unmedicated birth in a hospital.  A doula, who has been hired by YOU, who is NOT an employee of the hospital, and who is committed to YOU, YOUR birth, and YOUR experience is invaluable!

I am not just talking about any doula. I am talking about a GREAT doula! One that you have met with, spoken to, and made a decision to hire based on her experience, and the energy you have between the two of you.   While a doula can be effective even if your first encounter is at the hospital in labor, she will be more effective if you have met during your prenatal period. Just as it’s important to do your research when choosing a prenatal provider/birth attendant, it is equally important that you do your research when choosing a doula.  You want to make sure that the philosophy and style of your doula match YOU and your needs.

The great thing about a doula (and this is not always the case with friends and family members) she is specially TRAINED to help you AND your spouse with the work of labor and birth. She can be your advocate and a liaison between you and your care providers.  A great doula knows how to be vocal and strong on your behalf while being gentle and mindful of your needs.

After the birth of your baby you may be amazed at how EVERYONE’s attention (including that well meaning friend and your mother) goes to your newborn.  Your  needs quickly fade into the background.  Even in some of the most “baby-friendly” hospitals, your baby may be quickly brought away to the nursery and often your husband/partner will leave you to go with the baby. Your mother/sister/friend is exhausted and often all they can think about is getting home.

In the midst of all of this, it is your doula who will stay there with you steadfast during your immediate post partum transition.  It is your doula who will visit the next day not just to “see the baby ” or to “say hello” but to help you process your birth experiences helping you have a more peaceful transition to motherhood.  A great doula knows when to stay and what to say.

Now you may still be thinking… “Nicole, I hear what you are saying HOWEVER, I still don’t want to hire a doula.  My sister, girlfriend, mother etc will be there to support me.” That is definitely YOUR choice.  However, before you make THAT your final answer, I want to encourage you to ask yourself a few questions.

Has she had an unmedicated birth? Has she ever witnessed a normal unmedicated birth? Is she supportive of unmedicated birth? Will she be able to support you physically, mentally, and emotionally? Will she be able to help you make sense of the medical jargon thrown at you during labor?  Will she be FULLY supportive of your choices?  Will she do things to undermine you?

I have witnessed it multiple times:  Supportive friends/family members either knowingly or unknowingly talk you into pain meds, or an epidural.  It often happens because THEY are uncomfortable with you being uncomfortable. They don’t understand the work of labor and as a result want to move in to “help you” or “fix you” and all they know is…  “When I (my sister, friend …) had my baby I got an epidural and everything was great after that… are you SURE you don’t want an epidural?”

I have had family members pull me aside to quietly say to me… “I know she doesn’t want an epidural but can’t she get SOMETHING … I remember getting something in my IV for pain.”  Mothers in particular, often struggle watching their daughters experience the pain of birth.  Even a mother who has experienced an unmedicated birth herself feels trepidation and fear when her daughter, cries out in labor pain.  Family members and friends quite honestly don’t usually know HOW to support a woman in labor.  A great doula, knows how.

And what about your husband/partner:  Will he be equipped to support you, or will he need support of his own?  I have seen men be both remarkably supportive as well as irritatingly disruptive during a labor and birth.  What is the relationship like between you and your husband during a normal day?  Where do the two of you struggle? How will this affect your labor?  What does he think about normal birth?  Will he truly be able to “let go and let birth?”  While being present is one thing, being your primary support is another.  A great doula knows how to be supportive to you, your partner, and the two of you as a dyad.

How COMMITTED are you to having an unmedicated birth? If the answer is VERY committed; if you can’t envision your birth any other way; then quite frankly in my opinion you HAVE to have a doula.

Now there is an exception to every rule… If you are a part of a community of friends and women who support, understand, and have experienced normal birth…. Be happy and know that one of them can likely be the support you need.  If this is NOT your normal sister circle, you should SERIOUSLY consider hiring a doula.

In the moment when you are working well with your contractions, in a good rhythm, and your provider wants to “speed things up with a little Pitocin” you need someone there who can help you understand your options, your choices and what is normal.  A great doula can.

In your moment of wavering faith, when your body is working hard and your mind questions if you can go forward;  You want to cry out that you can’t go on and your nurse is repeatedly asking  “Are you sure you don’t want an epidural?”

You don’t need someone whispering in the corner… “why doesn’t she just get an epidural?”  You need someone to tell you it is going to be fine, you are strong, and you can go on.  You need someone who will encourage you and help you refocus while simultaneously communicating your wishes to the staff.  A great doula will.

A great doula can do all these things and more.  If you desire an unmedicated hospital birth, hire a doula!!  Make the investment.  Wondering about the actual cost/investment to hire a doula… here are a few words from Lisa… a reader:

“I often seen women say that doulas are “too expensive.” A couple of points about that:

1) I see it as a one-time cost for a once-in-a-lifetime event. To put it in perspective, my doula cost about as much as my wedding dress — in both cases, the memories I got in return were MORE than worth the cost.

2) There is a huge range of prices for doulas. For my current pregnancy, we interviewed doulas ranging from $200 to $750, and you can even find doulas-in-training who will work for free! And more expensive does NOT necessarily mean better; the one we ended up picking was right in the middle of the price range.

3) If the cost of a doula really is a hardship for you, most doulas I’ve seen are willing to work with you on price. So ask about it! Don’t let money be the ONLY reason you choose not to use a doula”

Thanks Lisa for that great insight… I definitely say Hire a Doula… You will be glad you did.

In Birth and Love
Nicole ~ Follow me on Twitter @SistaMidwife

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Creating a winning birth team…

Posted on December 20, 2010 | 11 Comments

So you are going to have a baby!! The time is approaching and you are beginning to think about WHO is going to be present for the big event.  Will your mother be there?  Your best friend?  Your partner/husband? Did you hire a doula?  What will your nurse be like?  What midwife/doctor will be on call?

While to some these may seem like simple questions for others they cause extreme stress and anxiety.  The wrong people can create uneasy conflict in your birth room while the right team can create harmony and peace.   There are two primary categories of people who make up your birth team; your health care providers, and your family and friends.   The ultimate goal is a winning team where Together Everyone Achieves More, and where they work together to create a conflict free birth room filled with peace, happiness and love.

Let’s quickly talk about the people on your team:

Your midwife/doctor: IF it is very important for you to KNOW the provider who will catch your baby, you want to be sure you pick someone in solo practice or choose a group with only a few providers.  Make sure you are able to meet everyone of them more than once during the prenatal period.  Keep in mind, everyone needs a day off sometimes, so even with a solo practitioner there is the off chance that your provider may be unavailable.  However, if this is VERY important to you, you can minimize the chances of having a “stranger” in your delivery room if you choose the right provider prenatally.

If it is important to have your provider present throughout your labor, providing support and encouragement, be sure to talk to them EARLY in your pregnancy about your wishes to determine if she/he is the right provider for you. Generally speaking, if you really want your provider to give you labor support you should choose a midwife.  While not every midwife provides labor support, in general a midwife is more likely to be with you in labor compared to a physician.  The bottom line about your birth attendant is knowing that you cannot wait until labor starts to choose the right provider for your labor and delivery team.  This is a process that MUST begin the moment you find out you are pregnant.  Your provider is an integral part of your birth team and you want to be sure you are happy about your choice.

Your nurse: If you will be birthing your baby in a hospital, your nurse will be a critical part of your birth team. She will likely spend more time with you than anyone else.  Not every nurse is the perfect fit for every patient but with a little patience and open communication, you can make the relationship work.  Know what you want, and be prepared to discuss it with the nurse upon admission.  Having a written birth plan is not a bad idea but it is not required.  The most important thing is to know what you want and to have a CONVERSATION.  With open communication, your nurse can become your biggest advocate and friend. There are times when regardless of communication, you and your nurse are not a good fit. When this happens, you can ask for the charge nurse on duty and request another nurse. While this is not always possible due to various staffing and time constraints, it is worth trying if all else fails and there is a definite conflict.

Your doula: Doulas are not just for women who want to “go natural.” While this is where they are primarily used, they can be a valuable asset in any birth room.  Like your prenatal provider/birth attendant, it is important that you meet your doula BEFORE labor starts. It’s important to choose someone who you feel comfortable with.  You want a doula that is going to respect what YOU want, without trying to push her values and beliefs about birth onto you.  You want a doula that has the skill to speak up for you without alienating the staff at the hospital.  Nurse/doula relationships can create some of the biggest conflicts. Be sure to communicate with both the nurse and the doula to make sure they are a part of YOUR team, not in a competition.

Your family and friends: Some women feel obligated to let anyone into their birth room who says they want to be there.  I have seen women become visibly stressed out about trying to decide who should be there and feeling some obligation to allow this one or that one in the birth room although she really doesn’t want that person present.  Some of the relationships that I have seen create the biggest conflicts for women include in-laws and friends especially friends where she was present for their labor and birth.  Birth is a special time for the mother her partner and their infant.  Just because you were invited to her birth room does not mean she has to be invited to yours. Those wedding/party “rules of etiquette” don’t have any place in labor and delivery.  This is a very different experience and should be treated as such.  It is a private event and should include only the people you REALLY want to be present. Remember that during labor and birth, much of you may literally be exposed and if you are a having a natural/unmediated birth you will be in a vulnerable state.  EVERYBODY does NOT need to be there.  Labor and birth is not a spectator sport yet when you have LOTS of visitors during the process just “waiting for the baby,” this is what your precious birth experience has the potential to turn into. When you are trying to work with your contractions or rest after an epidural, the last thing you need is your family/friends standing around “speculating, and watching.”

To avoid in labor decisions/conflicts be sure to have these discussions with your partner, mother, in-laws, friends and doula BEFORE labor ensues.   An easy way to avoid some of the conflict is to keep your “I’m in labor” phone calls to a minimum. After you have the baby and you have had time to rest, THEN you can make all the calls you want. If they don’t know you are in labor there will be no stress about uninviting them from the birth room.

If you do end up having lots of people coming to visit, I encourage my patients to send non-essential visitors HOME.  Let your nurse or your doula be the “bad guy” to send them on their way.  It’s like you are the quarter back and we are the offensive line. We protect you. Ask us and your wish is our command.

After delivery, you will want to rest and spend some private time bonding with your newborn.  Encourage your friends to come over to your house AFTER you are home. You will feel more like normal and be more open to visiting. As a side note, I also make the suggestion that you ask friends to come bearing edible gifts!! Who has time to cook with a newborn baby!  While they love us the most, family and friends are often the ones who create the most conflict.  Be careful about who you choose to invite/allow into your birth space.

When it’s all said and done, you are the captain and your partner is the co-captain of your birth team. Together you have to decide what other team members will help you win.  Be sure to Choose Wisely because your birth team can have a profound effect on your birth experience.

In Birth and Love
Nicole ~ Follow me on twitter @SistaMidwife

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