Monday Musings… Back at the beginning of February I thought it sounded catchy and I decided to start this segment on my blog. It was intended to be a place for me to rant about something that happened in my world, in my life during the previous week/weekend. It sounded like a good idea initially. However… as you can see… not just from a Monday Musing stand point, but from all points in general as it relates to this blog, I have been completely M. I. A. I have just been buried beneath life. I am sure some of you can relate. I do remain committed to my blog, and to be quite honest, while sometimes it seems like WORK, I have come to enjoy it. And when I am away from my blog for long periods of time, I miss it. This has been one of those times and I decided to dive back in with a Monday Musing today!
While this “Monday Musing” is not a reflection of what transpired specifically over the past week/weekend, it is a little glimpse of what work has been like for me over the past couple of months and basically… the bottom line is….
I am soooo OVER IT!!!
I am over doctors believing that they always know what’s best without ever consulting the woman(en) they are taking “care” of AND… I am over the nurses who think this is okay and are far too lazy and/or complacent to educate their patients to make informed decisions.
I am over doctors who think it’s perfectly okay to perform episiotomies and operative deliveries with forceps and vacuums without asking or even mentioning it to the patient even when it’s NOT an emergency.
I am over doctors telling a woman “You might need a c/section” BEFORE she is even in labor and convinces her to get induced for her “big” baby that weighs SEVEN pounds.
I am over doctors saying “Well we should just go ahead and admit her since she is here and she is 39 weeks. Give her cytotec and start Pitocin in the morning” THIS… for a woman pregnant for the first time who came in to be evaluated with few mild contractions who was 1cm dilated, not effaced with a healthy baby. AND may I add… a woman who wanted to go home and lives a few blocks from the hospital.
I am over doctors telling me “Well if she doesn’t want XYZ tell her she can’t have any pain medicine” WTF!!!!…. I did have a great come back once however when I was able to say “Actually doctor she is not feeling any pain” That made me smile cause he didn’t know what to say next!! LOL
I am over nurses who think just because a woman does not speak fluent English that she does not deserve adequate explanations… Get an interpreter for goodness sakes!!
I am over family members thinking that giving birth is a spectator sport. It’s NOT and if you are not helping and she does not want or need you GO HOME!! And be clear just because she does not tell you to go home it does not mean she wants you there. She told ME she wants you to leave but she doesn’t want you to be mad. Take a clue. She is either 1. In pain or 2. Trying to rest. GO HOME. Come back tomorrow. Or better yet… visit her once she goes home with the new baby and bring along a cooked meal!
I am over individuals who think “skin to skin” means swaddling the baby and putting the baby onto mom’s chest. Its SKIN to SKIN people…. NOT baby blanket to SKIN… geesh LMAO!
I am over people screaming and counting and telling my patient when and how to push when she doesn’t even have an epidural!!! Trust me… her body KNOWS when and how to push. And even when there is a dense epidural in place there is still no need to scream and count. She can hear people!!! AND for the record… counting does NOT make the baby come faster.
And at the risk of stepping on a few toes… I am over women who ask me a MILLION questions once they are in the hospital and when I ask “What did your doctor tell you?” the response is “I never asked him… OR… He doesn’t really give me a chance to ask questions… OR… I don’t really like him…. Etc… ” Now let me be clear here. I love to educate women. And I LOVE to help them make informed choices. And I LOVE working with women in labor. However… if you make a decision to stay with a doctor for 8 months… a doctor that you don’t like… a doctor that does not talk to you or look you in the eye… a doctor that does not know your name… there is not much I can do, as your labor and delivery nurse, when you arrive to the hospital with admission and induction orders. Sure I have tried to say… “Your baby is fine, you are only 39 weeks. BEFORE I place this cytotec you can change your mind and go home” ( And trust me I have REALLY told women this. Even mid induction with Pitocin that is not working I have educated women on their right to leave the hospital and try again the next day or wait for spontaneous labor) The reality is… it never works because at this point you have already started rolling down the hill.
Sooooo I say this… and I beg of you… Ladies, gentlemen, women, men, daughters, sisters, fathers, mothers, brothers… you have NINE months to do your homework. This is IMPORTANT!! You HAVE to do YOUR part. Don’t be like a recent father I worked with who said to me in the labor room during my admission education… “WOW! I didn’t think there was so much that went into having a baby!” I smiled supportively and said “Yes… there is a lot, a whole lot” INSIDE… I was more like “WHAT!! What the hell did you think, we were simply baking a box cake. It’s a HUMAN life for Christ’s Sake! Geesh!!”
PLEASE…. read, and learn, and ask questions, and be informed. Don’t take the first answer, ask another question and if you feel uncomfortable find another provider. Waiting until your hospital admission is too LATE!!!
And so moving on… I must admit… I am SOOOO OVER all of it right now…
I am OVER hospital birth.
I am OVER inductions.
I am OVER 5PM C/sections.
I am OVER continuous monitoring.
I am OVER lithotomy position.
I am OVER women being NPO (restricted from eating/drinking) in labor.
I am OVER women being stuck in bed.
I am OVER the lack of midwives in my community.
I am OVER the inability for families to have a mother/baby friendly experience.
I am OVER women feeling like they have been “saved” when the only danger in the first place is the “savior.”
I am OVER hospital birth.
Yes my friends… I am over it!! All of it!! Every piece of it!!!
And so with that I ask.… what are YOU over??
In Birth and Love