Tag Archives: Birth Advocacy

Stop Bey Bashing and Focus on Helping Women Birth Something Beautiful™

WOW!!! So much is being said re: Beyonce’s birth. I didn’t even know she had given birth until I got to my computer this afternoon.  And folks have been goin HAM.  I guess I have been too busy dealing with the issues in MY life to know what was happening. But after a few tweets and FB postings I was FORCED  ;-) to read an article or two, or three LOL…

But seriously folks… every woman has a right to Birth Something Beautiful™ in the way she thinks is best for herself and her family.   I want a home birth. Some think that’s crazy. She had a c/section  and unless HIPPA laws have been broken that’s about all we really know. (UPDATE… apparently we know little to nothing… Sooo  she didnt have a c/section per this article… which is one of my points anyway)  So lay off… get a life…  and let’s focus on the mothers and babies that  NEED our attention; The ones that can’t afford to block off an entire hospital floor.  The babies too numerous to count that never reach their first birthdays. The mothers that remain virtually nameless in our larger society because so few of us really KNOW a woman who died from complications of childbirth.  Let’s lend our attention, our focus, our blogging, our voices  to the real issues around birth. Stop bashing Beyonce for the decision she made (especially since we don’t know the details of her experience) and let’s focus on  educating as many women as we can so that they will have the information THEY need to make wise choices for themselves and their births.  Now take a listen to Glory as father Jay-Z celebrate lyrically the birth of his daughter. 

While you are listening… think about the REAL issues and ask yourself what have YOU done TODAY to help make sure that the pregnant girl down the street or the pregnant woman in your office building has the information SHE needs to make informed decisions.   As Birth Advocates who are against the unnecessary medicalization of birth, our job is not to spew hate, make accusations, and judge. Rather we are here to help, to love, and to support women Birth Something Beautiful.  Let’s go make THAT happen! :-)

In Birth and Love
Nicole ~ Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @SistaMidwife

Monday Musing ~ Who are Your Cheerleaders?

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to have a great time sharing ideas, thoughts, and ummmm a couple of drinks with Jill from The
Unnecessarean.
 I assume most, if not all of you know her. If not,  I suggest you  get over to her blog and take a read…

Anyway…..Let me back track and then bring you up to date…  A few weeks ago, I had a REALLY bad experience at work. I cried, NO… actually I sobbed uncontrollably the entire 30 minute drive home.  I felt at the time I really had
no-one to share my FULL feelings with.  I did share the experience with my mother and my co-workers of course were there and while they did what they could to be “supportive,” they just don’t always “get it.”  They don’t  “FEEL it” the way I do if you know what I mean.  The truth is, outside of us birth junkies, not many do.  This is not the first time this has happened, but for some reason it was one of the hardest times in a very long while.  (perhaps I will tell the story another day).

This experience in an instant, reminded me why I really don’t like working in the hospital. It also reminded me that it is important for individuals in this birth advocacy work to stay connected to others in birth advocacy work.  It reminded me that we must continuously remain in contact with and surround ourselves with people who are supportive of our experiences, and can understand our hurts and setbacks.   Success and business coaches always say things about your
circle of influence. They remind you that if you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you need to have successful entrepreneurs in your circle of influence. You needto have mentors who have been successful, and you need to have a “team” that is supportive of what you are doing; individuals who will ultimately be your cheerleaders, your pep squad, and advocates.

So what does all this have to do with Jill you may be asking.  Well Thursday I read an email and knew that she would be in town for a minute and wanted to connect on Friday night.  I had the opportunity to go to work at the hospital and while I don’t like the job, it is a temporary fixture that pays my bills so I tolerate it and thank the Universe for it! I could have certainly used the money.

What I realized I needed more in that moment, was an infusion of positive birth energy. I need a hug, a smile, to remind me that what I feel, where I stand on birth, and what I believe are not crazy thoughts. I needed to be reminded that I don’t overreact to things at work and that YES! the birth system in this country is VERY warped.  I needed one of my “cheerleaders” to remind me that the work I am doing and trying to do is not in vain.  I needed to be reminded that sometimes it is slow moving, sometimes, it’s hard, and sometimes you feel alone and then a  simple email, a hug, conversation, shared ideas, a few drinks and lots of laughs  can remind you that we are all in this together.  I am DEFINITELY one of Jill’s cheerleaders. I think she is one of THE best Birth bloggers out there.  After we met in October in at the ICTC conference in Long Beach I think it’s safe for me to say she became one of mine :D  It was so great to hang out with her Friday. She gave me a much needed boost of birth energy to keep moving forward.   Our time together reminded me that I need to remain more connected to the birth advocacy community and I need to speak more often to my mentors, women who have been doing this work LONG before I even thought about it.  I need to also stay more connected to my cheerleaders.

Who are your cheerleaders?  We all need them. We need individuals who love us, who appreciate us, who support us. We need people who can give constructive criticism and advice. And we need individuals to provide the shoulders that we cry on and lean on.  Making room for naysayers, for haters, for negative people and small minds does not advance our cause. Instead that holds us back and creates self doubt.

I have come to find this is true in life, in business and as I always like to point out… as it is in life, so it is in birth…. Who is on your birth cheerleading squad? Do they support your birth ideas or are they naysayers?  Be careful of who you allow in your birth space – More on this later….

Now… Lets all Go Forth and Birth Something Beautiful!!

Nicole
Don’t forget to follow me on twitter @SistaMidwife